WHERE YOU AT?

to start off this post, i think an apology is in order. I would like to apologize to the few people that read this blog. Who knows, maybe you dont check it anymore, maybe you have given up on me. if so, i would have stopped checking this blog a long time ago. It gets old checking blogs that never post or that post youtube videos because they are too lazy to write something (note my last 3 posts) and want to make it look like they update their blog (to my credit i had just learned how to put youtube videos on and i thought they are cool videos). Life is pretty good. A lot has happened since i last posted. school is over. spring has come. I've learned a lot about myself. Im more afraid of failure than i thought. I take the LSAT on june 8th. I cant wait for it to be over not because i am sick of studying but for the fact that i am sick of this worried, anxiety feeling i have all the time. Every morning i wake up with a kind of worried feeling. even when im not thinking about it, its like my body knows that the test is coming up. Anyways getting away from my emotional well being, I finally have a bike to ride. it is a different feeling riding a bike that you have fixed up and put together yourself. a feeling that at any moment (especially the moments that you are going fast) the thing is going to fall apart. but i love my bike and would like to give a shout out to mr. cobbs for giving me the bike in his garage, who knows maybe he reads this. probably not. nonetheless thank you. Im at work right now. most of the other people are in the back corner of the computer lab playing Call of Duty. I usually dont go over there and play but last week i decided to give it a shot. Now, ive never been very good at these kinds of games. whether it was 007 for n64 or Halo for xbox i usually am the person to die the most and get the least amount of kills. 007 was the worst because not only would i lose most the time but at the the end of the game when it would give everyone awards, it was not uncommon to see the words "most cowardly", "most harmless", or some other award that made me feel even more defeated flash onto my part of the screen. I guess the question could be asked "Why do you play those games then?" (i just want to throw out this disclaimer that i dont play these games a lot, hardly ever, but it was more frequent in high school because thats just what we did when we went to peoples houses - i feel better about continuing now) The reason why i would play is because every once in a while i would do something great. I usually target the best player and go after him. I do this for two reasons. first, if i end up dyeing its no big deal i'm supposed to lose. the second is that if i end up beating the best player than it gives me the right to talk trash for those few seconds until that person comes back to life and brutally seeks revenge on me, usually getting another 10 kills at my expense before the end of the game. for example: in high school, my friend david strobehn was the self proclaimed king of halo and rightfully so. i mean he was amazing at that game. he could destroy kids that played in actual halo tournaments. anyways whenever we played, my whole existence for being in the game was to sneak up behind david's guy on the screen and hit him in the back of the head with the butt of my gun resulting in his instant death. Then for the next 10 seconds (that was the usual amount of time it took for his guy to come back alive, find me, and get his revenge on my guy) i would laugh hysterically and usually yell taunting comments such as "WHERE YOU AT STROBEHN? WHERE YOU AT?" those moments would make the whole 2 hours of constant losing all worth it. Back to present day. about a week ago i decided that i would go play with some of the people i work with. nothing was going on and i felt that i could at least play and not embarrass myself. i figured i would only play for a little bit because after more than 10 minutes of playing those kinds of games i get a headache. I sat down and started to play and within the first 5 seconds i realized i didnt know what i was doing. so i followed my instincts and looked at the radar on the top of my screen, found a little dot on the radar and walked towards it. i finally found someone. for some reason they didnt shoot at me but i figured they just didnt see me because i was so sneaky. i snuck up to the guy real close and started shooting. Then i heard "what the heck man?" (just a note: the people i work with take this game very seriously) It then came to my attention that i had shot someone on my own team. My bad. i then decided to retire from the afternoon Call of Duty games at work. I just realized that they played that game on the office when jim moved branches a couple of seasons ago. i guess you could say that my experience was a lot like jims. if you dont know what im talking about ignore that last office reference it was just a sudden realization that i decided to add in this post. I have no idea where this story is going at this point. so im going to end it.